‘In this environment, laundry is my love language.’ What I want this Mother’s Day

By Raakhee Mirchandani for Market Watch

What I really want for Mother’s Day is to spend a day with a handle of Tito’s and the stack of books teetering on the edge of my nightstand. Or to binge “Workin’ Moms” and “Never Have I Ever” with a bagel and a latte, immediately followed by a showing of “Becoming” on Netflix with a burrito. 

I want to do all this in my bed. In my coziest sweatsuit. I want to pee, just maybe once or twice this weekend, without an audience or a small person trying to break down the door because they can’t find an eraser or “feel lonely.” (I’ve been gone for 4 minutes, child; you’ve simply got to get it together.) 

Here’s what I don’t want: a Zoom celebration of any kind. It’s not a thing, so please just stop. I also don’t want a virtual brunch unless we’re dining with Oprah, Mindy Kaling or Dr. Fauci. While we’re on the topic, please, for the love of God, nothing DIY; I can’t assemble another food or craft kit. If you insist, just bring me ready-made foods, preferably things that are fried or coated in powdered sugar.